[Calgary, Alberta, gets excessive rain.]
"It's my husband, Sidney ... he went in there three hrs. ago, and hasn't come back out!"
[Cold weather traffic-jam.]
"Probably some ritual, foreign to us, to preserve the species."
[North pole has moved south.]
"Oh, look, Sidney ... the first crocus!"
"He followed me home."
[Calgary's parks are designated dangerous areas.]
"I don't like the looks of that one bit!"
"Dear, sweet Sidney, communing with nature."