[Search for Loch Ness creature uncovers more than looked for.]
"There's life on Mars! Viking got a ticket for digging without a license."
"???? !!!!"
"There is no need for violence... this has been an recorded announcement."
"Operator...I wish to make an obscene phone call to Edmonton."
[Technology increases unemployment.]
[Canon refuses to fire in metric.]
"All rumors aside ... I still think it's some cockamamy gov't make-work project!"
"The eleventh commandment."
[Calgary's city council punches out their computer.]